The Love and Lose Collection
by Dreamer Conlon
Summary: This is a collection of all my songfic that have been edited andor rewritten. R
1. Hello

Disclaimer: I don't own the song. It is owned by Evanescence. I own the girl in the story. I also don't own Spot. Disney owns him and any other newsies mentioned in the story.

**Hello**

_Playground school bell rings_

_Again_

_Rain clouds come to play_

_Again_

_Has no one told you she's not breathing_

_Hello_

_I am your mind_

_Giving you someone to talk to_

_Hello_

Spot slowly walked down the street. He couldn't believe this had happened to him. How could he loss someone else? A school bell ringing brought him out of his thoughts. He stopped and watched as the kids ran out of the building on their way home. He waited until they had all left before resuming his walk back to the lodging house. As he walked, he didn't notice the rain begin to fall. He didn't notice as it soaked his clothes and dripped rhythmically off his blonde hair.

_If I smile and don't_

_Believe_

_Soon I know I'll wake_

_From this dream_

_Don't try to fix me _

_I'm not broken_

_Hello_

_I am the lie living for you so you can hide_

_Don't cry_

He knew he had been living a lie since she had left. He couldn't let anyone know what he really felt even if she had meant everything to him. He could lie and say he was fine though almost everyone knew he wasn't. Spot had convinced himself that this was all a dream and that when he got to the lodging house she would be there. She would be there waiting for him with open arms. He would kiss her sweet lips again and again and he would never let her go.

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

_Hello_

_I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday_

As Spot walked closer to the lodging house, reality hit him like a ton of bricks. He couldn't convince himself it was all a dream anymore. She was never coming back. There was nothing he could do that would bring her back. If he could turn back time, she would have stayed with him that day and maybe, just maybe she wouldn't have gotten in the middle of that fight and she might still be here today.

He still couldn't believe he had seen it all. He remembered killing the guy in a fit of rage after the guy had stabbed her. He remembered gathering her in his arms and telling her to hold on and that everything would be ok. Telling her that he needed her. That she was his whole world. And there in his arms she had died. He would never forget her last words. She had never said them until then. "I love you", she had whispered to him, then she had taken her last breath there in his arms. Why him? Why did she have to die? Why not him? Why couldn't it have been him? He wished he could breathe life into her again. He wished he could bring her back to him. He wished he could hold her again. His soul felt empty and lifeless now.

Spot went straight to his room when he entered the lodging house. The room he had shared with her. It held so many memories. Spot stopped in the doorway and let the memories wash over him. After a couple of minutes, Spot walked into the room and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the bed and laid down and for the first time in years, Spot allowed the unshed tears to cascade down his cheeks.

AN: Well, here is the first of the songfictions. I hope you liked it. I know I didn't change a lot but there are some minor changes. I hope you liked them. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think of it.


	2. I Drove All Night

Disclaimer: I don't own Spot though I wish I did. cries I don't own the song either. It belongs to Celine Dion. I do own my self.

So without further delay…

**I Drove All Night**

_I taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide_

_This fever for you is just burning me up inside_

_I had to escape_

_The city was sticky and cruel_

_Maybe I should have called you first_

_But I was dying to get to you_

_I was dreaming while I drove_

_The long straight road ahead_

Ann hopped in her and backed out of her driveway as quickly as possible. She had to get away. She had to see him. She had to get out of the city. She needed his arms around her. She could already taste his kisses as she drove. Ann doubted that her mother would worry about where she was. Her mother would know. Ann knew she would be driving all night but that didn't matter. If it meant that she would be in his arms, she would drive for days on end if she had to. She had to be near him. She had to see his face. _Maybe I should call him first._ She thought. She knew he wouldn't care. Her body was screaming for him.

_Could taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide_

_This fever for you is just burning me up inside_

_I drove all night to get to you_

_Is that all right?_

_I drove all night, crept in your room_

_Woke you from your sleep, to make love to you_

_Is that all right?_

_I drove all night_

_What in this world keeps us from falling apart?_

_No matter where I go_

_I hear the beating of our one heart_

_I think about you when the night is cold and dark_

As she drove, Ann wondered what could possibly be keeping them together. Long distance relationships never worked out. She had too many friends that had ended long distance relationships with guys they really loved. Yet theirs was still going strong. Anywhere she went she thought of him. She never heard the beating of her own heart but of their one. When the nights were cold and dark, she longed for him to hold her. She longed for him to be next to her.

_No one can move me the way that you do_

_Nothing erases this feeling between me and you_

Ann knew in her heart that no one would ever love her as much as he loved her. She knew that no one could take away the love between them.

_I drove all night to get to you_

_Is that all right?_

_I drove all night, crept in your room_

_Woke you from your sleep, to make love to you_

_Is that all right?_

_I drove all night_

Ann pulled in his driveway and hopped out of her car. She ran to the back of the house and ran to his bedroom window. She quietly opened it and climbed in. He always kept his window unlocked so she didn't have to wake his parents up by coming through the front door. She quietly walked over to his bed and laid down next to him. Ann gently touched his cheek with her fingers. He stirred and slowly opened his eyes. He was little surprised to see her there.

"Did you drive all night?" he asked her.

"Yeah. Is that all right?" she replied.

"Of course it is." he said slowly pulling her into a kiss.

"I'm glad you're all right with it, Spot." Ann said letting him wrap his arms around her. She pulled him toward her and pressed her lips to his. Spot slowly brought the kisses down to her neck and he slid his hands down her back. Ann wrapped her arms around his waist pulling him even closer to her. Ann let him slowly slide her shirt over her head. Spot knew exactly what do. This wasn't the first time she had climbed in his window.

As Spot slowly and gently slid his hands up and down the bare skin of her back and caressed her neck with his sweet kisses, Ann knew that this was where she belonged. She belonged in his arms. She knew she would never leave. She would always be here. She would love him forever.

_I taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide_

_This fever for you is just burning me up inside_

_I drove all night to get to you_

_Is that all right?_

_I drove all night, crept in your room_

_Is that all right?_

_I drove all night_

AN: hey everyone! I hope you liked the story. I don't think I really changed anything in this story but I hope you liked it anyways. Don't forget to review and tell me what you thought of it.


	3. My Immortal

AN: I was listening to this song one day and this story popped into my head. The only thing I own is the girl, Singer. I don't own Newsies or the song, which is owned by Evanescence. I hope you enjoy the story. Sorry it's a little depressing.

**My Immortal**

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

'_Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Singer walked toward her empty apartment with her head down. The apartment that had been empty for a year now though she still wasn't used to it yet. Friends would stop by to see how she was or to see if she needed anything. They would invite her to parties but she would never go. It just wasn't the same without him. Life just wasn't the same anymore. Sometimes at night though, it was like she could feel him there with her. She would swear she felt his arms around her.

Singer unlocked the door and walked into the apartment they had shared for years. Twenty-five to be exact. Twenty-five years seemed too short to her. Singer sat down on the couch and sighed as she thought back over the years.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

She could still remember the first time she had met him. She couldn't remember exactly where she had first met him but she summer evening. She remembered looking into his eyes and seeing them burn with such intensity that she couldn't look away. The blue of his eyes seemed to capture her and pull her. She knew then that he was the one she was going to marry.

She remembered when he had asked her to be his girl. She hadn't thought he was serious but when she looked into his eyes, they had shown his love and adoration for her. Every time he looked at her there was only love in them. She couldn't remember a time when there hadn't been.

Singer thought back to their first fight. It had been over some stupid little thing but it had caused them to say things they never meant to say. It had lasted for days but he had been the one to say "I'm sorry" first. He had been the first to make an effort to resolve it.

Singer looked down at the ring on her finger and memories of their wedding came flooding back. She couldn't have asked for a better wedding. It had been small, only the Brooklyn and some Manhattan newsies had been there, but that was ok with her. She had the people she loved there and that's all that had mattered.

She thought back to their wedding night. She remembered the passion between them that had burned like a wild fire. Spot had been gentle and loving. He had been her one and only. Singer had made him promise to wait because she was waiting until her wedding night. Singer knew it had been hard for him but he had waited.

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating light_

_Now I'm bond by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

She stood up from the couch and walked into the bedroom. She went to the bed and laid down. She had yet to get a full nights sleep. She would dream of him. She couldn't seem to get his face out of her dreams and some nights, she would swear she would hear his voice, calling to her from the living room. She would always go running, only to find that there was no one there. She would then fall to the floor with tears cascading down her cheeks.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

She didn't know how to piece her heart back together again. They had been through so much together. She had taken care of him as best as she knew how but it hadn't been enough to keep him here with her.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

As Singer lay there, she thought back to the last couple of months of Spot's life. They had been so hard for them both. She had done all she could do to make him comfortable. According to the doctor, the infection had moved so quickly that nothing could have been done. She had spent countless hours by his side, holding his hand and telling him that everything was going to be ok. She was there to comfort him when he'd scream out in pain and to wipe his tears when he'd cry. She had watched him deteriorate from the strong, healthy man she knew and loved to the pale, thin boy she took care of. She had been there when he had taken his last breath. That memory would haunt her forever.

flashback

"Singer?"

"Yes Spot?"

"When I'm gone, I want ya to remember me like I used to be. Not like I am now."

"Don't talk like that Spot. You're gonna be fine."

"I'm gonna die Singer. There's no denying it. I know I am and I'm ready to go. I've lived a good life. God blessed me with you. He let me love ya if only for a short time but He's callin' me home now."

"Spot, your home is here. I need you here with me. I need you. He can't take you now. Please Spot don't go."

"I love you Singer. Remember that. I love and I'll be watching over you."

And with that Spot took his last breath.

end flashback

Singer had been mad at God for taking Spot away from her. She didn't understand how God could do that to her. She had since forgiven God and now felt comforted knowing that Spot was in heaven and watching over her.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me _

_I've been alone all along_

Singer rolled onto her side as tears slid down her cheeks. She tried so hard to convince herself that Spot was really gone but she never believed it. His commanding presence was still there. He had left a part of himself there. He was still a part of her and he always would be.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

Singer closed her eyes as sleep overcame her; sleep that would bring dreams of him; of her Spot.

AN: I made a few little changes but nothing major. I hope you like the story though and don't forget to review and tell me what you think of it.


	4. The One

Disclaimer: I don't own Blink and I don't own my friend Liz. I also don't own the song. Gary Allan owns it.

AN: I wrote this for my friend Liz. The story just popped into my head and so I wrote it. I hope you all enjoy it. Tell me what you think of it. Liz, I hope you like it. Tell me what you think.

Now on to the story.

The One

Blink slowly walked down the street. He knew he had to tell Liz the truth. He knew he needed to let her know that she meant everything to him. He had to fins her. He just had to tell her.

When Blink walked into Tibby's, he immediately spotted her in a corner booth talking to Jack and some other newsies. He cautiously walked over to the table.

"Liz, can I talk to ya?" Blink asked when he reached the table.

"Sure."

_No rush though I need your touch_

_I won't rush your heart_

_Until you feel on solid ground_

_Until your strength is found_

"What is it Blink?" Liz asked when they had sat down at a different table.

"Look Liz, I don't wanna rush your heart or anything but I've gotta tell ya." Blink said staring down at the table.

"Tell me what?" Liz asked confused.

"I really really like you Liz. I have for a long time."

"Blink, I'm sorry but…" Liz started to say but Blink's hand stopped her.

"I know what you're gonna say. I'll stand in the background. You'll be the one that shines, not me."

_I'll fill those canyons in your soul_

_Like a river leads you home_

_And I'll walk a step behind_

_In the shadows so you shine_

_Just ask it will be done_

_And I will prove my love_

_Until you're sure that I'm "the one"_

_Somebody else was here before_

_He treated you unkind_

_And broken wings need time to heal_

_Before a heart can fly, girl_

"Look Liz, I know you've been hurt before and I know that your heart needs time to heal. Well, I'll wait until your heart's ready to love again."

Tears came to Liz's eyes as she listened.

"I can fill the canyons. I'll walk behind you. I'll prove that I love you Liz."

_I'll fill those canyons in your soul_

_Like a river leads you home_

_And I'll walk a step behind_

_In the shadows so you shine_

_Just ask it will be done_

_And I will prove my love_

_Until you're sure that I'm "the one"_

_Trust in me and you will find a heart so true_

_All I wanna do is give the best of me to you_

_And stand beside you_

"You gotta trust me Liz. If you look deep enough you'll see that my love is true. I just wanna give you the best of me. I wanna be beside you."

_Just ask it will be done_

_And I will prove my love_

_Until you're sure that I'm "the one"_

"Please Liz. Give me a chance. Ask me to do anything and I'll do it. I'll prove to you that I love you until you're sure and your hearts sure that I'm the one for you."

Liz just sat there with tears falling down her cheeks. She couldn't believe it. She didn't know what to do or say. Blink reached across the table and gently wiped away the tears.

"Please Liz. Just give me a chance." Blink pleaded.

"All right. I'll give you a chance." Liz said with a smile on her face.


	5. The Nearness of You

Disclaimer: I don't own Blink or any of the other newsies that might be in here. I also don't own the song The Nearness of You. That belongs to Norah Jones. I also don't own my friend Liz.

AN: This is the sequel to The One. I hope you all enjoy this one. Please review and tell me what you think. I hope you like it Liz.

The Nearness of You

Liz was definitely glad that she had decided to give Blink a chance. It had been wonderful and Blink had done everything he said he would. He had let her shine in the relationship and now her heart was certain that she loved him. _And I'm going to tell him tonight._ Liz thought as she walked quickly down the street toward the lodging house. She had to get ready for their date.

"Liz, are ya ready yet?" Blink called from downstairs. He couldn't wait to take her on their date. He had a special evening planned. He was going to take her to dinner than a romantic walk through Central Park. The weather had been perfect the last couple of days and Blink wanted to take advantage of it.

"I'm coming." Liz called back.

"Ya look a little nervous Blink." Jack said from his seat at the poker table. Blink stopped his pacing and looked at Jack.

"I'm not nervous. Why would I be nervous? Do I look nervous?"

"Yeah, ya look nervous and if ya keep pacin' like that, you'll ware a hole in the floor."

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I get like this. I just want everything to be perfect."

"Don't worry Blink. Everything'll go fine."

"I'm ready." Liz said coming down the stairs. Blink turned around and looked at Liz. She looked beautiful as always.

"You look beautiful." said Blink.

"Thank you." Liz said with a smile coming to her lips.

"Well, we'd better go. Don't wanna miss dinner." Blink said taking Liz's hand.

_It's not the pale moon that excites me_

_That thrills and delights me, oh no_

_It's just the nearness of you_

_It isn't your sweet conversation_

_That brings this sensation, oh no_

_It's just the nearness of you_

The dinner had been wonderful. Liz didn't know how Blink could afford such a place but he had insisted on going there. Now they were walking through the moonlit Central Park. The moon was full and a pale color but that wasn't what delighted Liz. They had talked all through dinner and though Liz loved to hear his voice, the sensations were not from hearing it. It wasn't either of those things. Just having Blink near her was what brought on the sensations and what thrilled her the most. During the day, Liz longed to be near him. She felt like part of her was missing when he was away.

They kept walking until they got to the pond. There they laid down in the grass beside the pond and looked up at the stars. Blink wrapped his arms around her. Liz snuggled closer to Blink and rested her hand on his chest as she smiled and closed her eyes. She had all she had ever dreamed she could have. She needed nothing else. All her dreams were coming true.

_When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me_

_All my wildest dreams came true_

Once they were back at the lodging house, they curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace. The firelight gave the room a soft glow, but that didn't matter to Liz. She didn't need soft lighting; she just needed Blink.

"Blink?" Liz asked breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Would you promise me something?"

"Of course. You know I'd do anything for you. What is it?"

"Promise me that I'm the only one you'll let hold you for the rest of your life." Liz said looking into his eyes.

"I can definitely promise you that. I wouldn't want it any other way."

_I need no soft lights to enchant me_

_If you will only grant me_

_The right to hold you ever so tight_

_And to feel in the night_

"I love you."

"I love you too Liz and I will forever." Blink said pulling Liz into a kiss.

_The nearness of you_


	6. You're Still Here

Disclaimer: I don't really own anything except for the plot and Amber. The song belongs to Faith Hill and Mush belongs to Disney.

**You're Still Here**

_Thought I saw you today_

_You were standing in the sun then you turned away_

_And I knew it couldn't be _

_But my heart believed_

_Oh it seems like there's something everyday_

_How could you be so far away?_

Amber walked silently through the graveyard. She stopped in front of a rather small headstone, knelt down, and gingerly ran her fingers across the name on it, as time seemed to stop right where it was. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"I thought I saw you standing in the sun today while I was in the market. I knew it wasn't you even though my heart told me it was. My heart and my mind seem be fighting each other a lot lately. It just seems like there's always something. Sometimes I think I see you in a crowd or standing at the end of the hall. I often think I hear your voice calling to me or talking to our son. I really just don't understand how you could possibly be gone."

_When you're still here_

_When I need you you're not hard to find_

_You're still here_

_I can see you in my baby's eyes_

_And I laugh and cry_

_You're still here_

"It just seems like you're still here. It's like when we were dating and when I would really need you, you never seemed to be very far away. I could always find you. Well, even though I know you're gone, I can still find you when I need you the most. No matter what the problem is. I can see your eyes in my dreams. I even see you in our son. Sometimes I just have to laugh and other times I just cry. I laugh when I think of when he gets to be a teenager. The girls will be lining up at the door. All he'll have to do is look at them with those big brown eyes, like you used to do, and they'll be his. Then that reminds me of you and I just start crying."

_I had a dream last night_

_That you came to me on silver wings and I_

_I flew away with you on a painted sky_

_And I woke up wonderin' what was real_

_Is it what you see and touch or what you feel?_

"Anyways, I had that dream again last night. The one where I'm standing on this moonlit beach and you come to me on these silver wings and we fly away together through the star filled night sky. I woke up again wondering if it had been real. I mean, is it what you can see and what you can touch that's real or is it what you feel?"

'_Cause you're still here_

_Oh you're everywhere we've ever been_

_You're still here_

_I heard you in a strangers laugh _

_And I hung around to hear him laugh again_

_Just once again_

_Oh_

"It's just amazing to me though how I can go to the lodging house or to Tibby's or to Medda's and it's like you're there. I can go to any place we ever went to and you're there. You can even be in a stranger's laugh or at least that's what I heard. I wanted so badly to see if I could hear your laugh again that I hung around to see if the guy would laugh just one more time. He must of thought I was crazy or something. Anyways, I just thought I would come by and tell you that I love you and I miss you so much. I know I've told you over and over again but somehow I don't think you mind. I know the guys miss you just as much even if they don't show it. Well, I should get going. Until next time my love."

Amber wiped away the tears that were falling as she gingerly traced the name Aaron "Mush" Meyers with her fingers. She then got up, wiped her face one more time, then walked silently back through the graveyard to the gates that led to the busy streets.

_Thought I saw you today_

_You were standing in the sun then you turned away_

_Away_

AN: Well, there it is. I hope you liked it. I didn't make too many changes to it. I just made a few changes to make some of the sentences a little more clearer. Well, tell me what you thought of it. I love hearing from people.


	7. To Love You More

Disclaimer: I don't own the song or Spot. I'm not making any money off of this. I do own Dreamer and the plot but that's it.

**To Love You More**

_Take me back into the arms I love  
__Need me like you did before  
__Touch me once again  
__And remember when  
__There was no one that you wanted more_

_Don't go you know you'll break my heart  
__She won't love you like I will  
__I'm the one who'll stay  
__When she walks away  
__And you know I'll be standing here still_

Dreamer watched as Spot packed what was his. Tears were streaming down her face. She should have expected this. She had heard about his reputation. She had thought she could change his ways but she had been foolish to think that she could. All she wanted him to do was to take her in his arms and tell her he wasn't really leaving.

"Spot please don't leave." she pleaded.

"I'm sorry Dreamer."

"She doesn't love you though. I do. Why can't you see that?"

_I'll be waiting for you  
__Here inside my heart  
__I'm the one who wants to love you more  
__You will see I can give you  
__Everything you need  
__Let me be the one to love you more_

_See me as if you never knew  
__Hold me so you can't let go  
__Just believe in me  
__I will make you see  
__All the things that your heart needs to know_

"Don't do this Dreamer. Don't make it any harder on yourself than it already is." Spot said turning towards the door.

"Look at me. What does she have that I don't? Just tell me that."

"Dreamer…"

"Please Spot, just give me a chance. I can change." Dreamer pleaded looking into his eyes.

_I'll be waiting for you  
__Here inside my heart  
__I'm the one who wants to love you more  
__You will see I can give you  
__Everything you need  
__Let me be the one to love you more _

_And some way all the love that we made can be saved  
__Whatever it takes we'll find a way_

_Believe me  
__I will make you see  
__All the things that your heart needs to know_

"We can save what we had. I know we can. Please just don't leave."

"Dreamer…"

_I'll be waiting for you  
__Here inside my heart  
__I'm the one who wants to love you more  
__Can't you will see I can give you  
__Everything you need  
__Let me be the one to love you more_

"She doesn't love you!"

"I'm sorry Dreamer."

"One day Spot Conlon, you'll see that I can give you everything you need. You'll come back to me. I know you will because no one will ever love you the way I do." Dreamer said in desperation as Spot opened the door. He stopped in the doorway and turned to look at Dreamer one last time then he walked out and closed the door behind him.

* * *

AN: I hope you like the new version of this. I tried not to use as many of the words from the lyrics. Leave me a review and let me know what you think of it. 


End file.
